thy will be dunning

I traveled all the way to San Francisco to meet Douglas at the world premiere of his new movie Mad Cowgirl...and I hate to fly! But it would be worth it, as teh festival had announced that the star of the movie would be in attendance.

An unpleasant surprise awaited me. When I arrived at the theater, I asked the person in the box office if Douglas's limousine had arrived yet. His response: "Who's Douglas?"

"Oh, only THE STAR OF THIS MOVIE!"
"Really? What does he look like?"
"Like a bald stinking Frankenstein, only sexier"
"Nope, haven't seen anyone like that. The girl on the poster is here, and so's the director"
"I don't give a rat's ass about that cinematic hack Hatanaka! I came here to see the star, and that's Douglas Dunning!"
"Who?"
"The guy who played the Klingon standing behind Christopher Plummer in Star trek VI!"
"Oh. Well, Walter Koenig's here!"
"I have no idea who that is. Where's Douglas?"
"Sir, are you going to buy a ticket or not?"
"Fine, I guess I will...but this is a rip-off!"

So I watched the movie, and I have to admit, it wasn't too bad. It was all about this radio announcer (Douglas) who also stars on a kung-fu TV show that's a bit like G.L.O.W., and gives advice to some hot chick (Sarah something) who eventually goes nuts and kills him, except she really doesn't. I think. You don't actually see Douglas on camera a lot, because the other actors were probably jealous of his charisma. But you hear him throughout, as he propels the story forward.

Douglas wasn't in attendance, so I left. I suspect he'd be unhappy in San Francisco anyway, because there are so many homeless people that he'd go hoarse yelling about cutting their fucking throats out.